The more anthropologically inquisitive of the Captain's readers are no
doubt wondering what he can tell them from his experience with the
primitive natives of this far-off land regarding their customs and
situation. The Captain is, as it turns out, quite an acute student of
human culture and is happy to share the results of his research in this
area with all.
The practice followed aboard Maverick is one of treading lightly and
making furtive observations. It is accepted that Margaret Mead's
researches were compromised by her actions and indeed her very presence
among the people she was studying, so we aboard Maverick accept the
principle of observation's corrupting influence as fundamental to our
anthropological methodology. The theory of quantum mechanics predicts
that, at the quantum level, the observer changes the events observed
merely by the act of observing and although this principle runs contrary
to sense it has been well established by experiment. It remains
controversial whether this limitation applies to events in the world
visible to the eye, but aboard Maverick we feel that its cautious
application to our methodology is prudent. As a consequence, the reader
can have confidence that our conclusions, based as they are on a
statistically insignificant amount of empirical data, are authoritative.
There are two main concerns often expressed about such peoples and
their present condition. One is that they may not have the benefits
available to those living in the industrial societies; and the other is
that they may. The Captain is very happy to be able to report that in
both respects he has satisfied himself that things are much better than
many have feared.
The natives, who, by the way, are somewhat less naked than one might
have had reason to hope, do not as a rule live in poverty. By some
system which the crew of Maverick was unable to discover despite much
delicate questioning, everyone, or as the French say, tout le monde,
drives around these rather small islands in $30,000 four wheel drive
vehicles which are quite new; and yet we could not find the source of
income used for the purchase thereof. The towns may be, in all, five
blocks by five blocks, and these SUVs common as they are superfluous,
yet employment seems sparse. Actually, adults in general are not
plentiful and we wonder whether they arise before dawn to go to their
employment in some mysterious industry and return after the crew of
Maverick has retired to quarters. Or, as the Captain is rather fond of
thinking, they don't work at all and have no need to leave the house. If
the latter, the wisdom of this arrangement should be apparent to all and
we commend it to the industrialized nations for further study.
Having satisfied themselves that poverty is not a problem, the crew
set about to find out whether these poor people have been culturally
destroyed by modern influences. They speak in odd grunts and howls that
the Captain is quite certain cannot be translated into a civilized
language, much like their French governors. (Here we make a little joke
at the expense of the French who, the Captain does not tire of
repeating, have never failed to treat him with unequalled courtesy and
friendliness.) But to the question of adverse cultural influences there
is again a happy answer, which is that, while there is evidence that the
very best of western culture has indeed found its way here, there still
is much rowing and tattooing, to everyone's delight.
Signs of western influence are abundant and varied but selective. The
proprietress of a corner store we patronized was biding her time by
viewing a Cheech and Chong movie dubbed in French. Later, the same woman
was observed intently studying a Janet Jackson video. There was in
evidence in another store an impressive display of Britney Spears
posters, more extensive than even the Captain's own rather complete
collection, and Celine Dion was heard in the background to enhance our
shopping experience. At dinner at a modest restaurant, the small crowd
was entertained by "Friends" on TV, dubbed in French, which was followed
by a quite sophisticated Parisian program of the "Jerry Springer" ilk.
No one was observed watching that stupid PBS stuff.
In sum, these people, attractive and of noble bearing, or at least
attractive, while retaining their native traditions, have an innate
desire and appreciation for the highest achievements of the modern
societies and a subtle and discriminating understanding of what they
have to offer. In these respects it is quite accurate to conclude they
are not the more culturally deprived--or corrupted--than the average
Marin County resident, have in fact similar tastes, and better skin.
PS to Jimmy:
Seaman Shrode is unable to respond to your generous offer of a more
lucrative position on your boat because he is presently incarcerated
after dropping an anchor on the Captain's foot. The extent to which this
was intentional is currently under investigation. In Mr. Shrode's
absence the Captain will be happy to respond in good faith on his
behalf, as follows: He is very flattered by the offer and the respect
which it implies for his abilities; but he regrets to say he must
decline on the grounds that he is presently incarcerated.
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