| 8:30 PM local time Friday, September 14. (1030 September 14 UTC) 9 27 S
147 09 E. Temp. 83, Humidity 84%, cloud cover 10%. In a marina berth(!)
at Port Moresby, Papua, New Guinea.
Greetings from the crew of Maverick.
We have arrived safely, and it is our privilege upon completing a
successful passage, and the tradition of mariners throughout history, to
obtain shore leave and repair to a local establishment to enjoy the
beverage of our choice, usually in rather impressive quantities. During
today's celebration we had the good fortune of being able to view
pictures of the horror in New York and Washington on big screen TV. The
Captain realizes that his duty as a seaman neither requires him to
assume, nor qualifies him for, the post of commentator on world affairs.
Yet, in his current state he has thoughts, and as there is no
appropriate place to put them, he will send them to you.
Let us stipulate for the sake of argument that whoever did this
had in mind the righting of wrongs, the advancement of the fortunes of
those who are poor and powerless, and in short, the victory of every
just cause that ever a brave soldier has pledged himself to throughout
the long fight for peace and justice. The Captain will emphasize that he
does not believe this and does not believe that they believe this; but
for the sake of argument we assume it's true. So the Captain's argument
leaves morality out of the picture. Let's just discuss how threatening
Some of us may fear them because unlike many terrorists, they are
organized, smart, and have a lot of money. These are the issues to which
we address ourselves.
First, the money. If you throw in Saddam Hussein, these people
have about as much money as Ted Turner has in his roller skate budget,
and he's not one of our really rich guys.
I'm more interested in how smart they are. You know, they foiled
the security at a bunch of airports at the same time, so they're smarter
than, say Jimmy Buffet. This took a lot of planning and rehearsal, as
did the "On the Road" movies with Bing Crosby and Bob Hope.
But let's think about that planning meeting. The Captain thinks
that if he had been there, he would been obliged to have brought up the
1) Supposing we kill all the people we want to. How will everyone
worldwide find out about it? Will it be through a) The Taliban
Broadcasting Company, b) The Islamic Bonehead Network, or c) CNN?
2) Assuming it's not the first two, let's ask ourselves, How good is CNN
at showing heartbreaking footage of family members clinging to the hope
that someone who was on the 105th floor of that building survived,
children bringing flowers to a memorial site, exhausted rescue workers
going in for another shift, or the playing of the Star Spangled Banner
by Winton Marsalis in the Hollywood Bowl, etc. Are they a) as lame as
the Taliban Broadcasting Company or the IBN, or b) The best in the
3) How likely is it that CNN will give major play to the (we will
stipulate here for the above reasons) important and cogent point of view
we wish to publicize, as opposed to the time they will give to people
worldwide who are our bitter enemies?
4) In the event that they portray us at all, will CNN show us to be a)
Heroes of the downtrodden or b) Boneheads with machine guns?
5) Who works in the World Trade Center? Would it be people from around
the world? How sympathetic are the citizens of various nations of the
world to forces that would murder their peers while they are employed in
peaceful occupations overseas?
6) Do we have our internet strategy in place? If I go to Yahoo and type
in Osama Bin Laden will I get OBL's House of Pleasure?
Sorry, guys, you gotta pay attention. While you were steeping
yourselves in the whatever teachings you boneheads follow, the world
changed. The reason we needn't fear these people is that they are no
more than the kids in elementary school who lit cats on fire, all grown
up. They cannot by any stretch of the imagination be thought of as
people who are smart. Even Hitler and Stalin and Idi Amin had enough
brains to become actually powerful. These men seek refuge in
Afghanistan, which itself is a bogus country. They hide under the skirts
Next report from this loocation:
Behind Closed Doors